If someone is in immediate danger of risk of suicide, please call 911 and get immediate medical attention.
September is national suicide prevention month, so we’re going to be taking this post to look at warning signs of suicide, what we can do to prevent suicide, and more. It’s a pretty heavy topic, and can be triggering, but because it’s so important, I as a counselor believe in talking about the reality of suicide.
Suicide is one of the most tragic things that happens, and the problem is, usually people don’t respond to someone’s cries for help until they’ve completed or attempted suicide. With the tragedy of it, I want to make one thing clear: suicide is NOT selfish. In reality, it’s a massive cry for help. It’s only attempted or completed when that feels like the only option for somebody. By learning to recognize the warning signs, we can begin to, hopefully, aid in the reduction of suicide in the nation.
Because of its heavy impact on individuals and society, suicide is also not something to be scared to talk about. By asking someone if they’re suicidal, you aren’t “putting the idea in their head.” You aren’t going to suggest the idea by bringing it up. Talking about suicide and vocalizing the concern that someone might be suicidal is something that we can feel comfortable talking about, because those who have thought about suicide and answer “yes” to being suicidal have already thought about it. By asking, you aren’t putting the idea into their mind. It was already there. And, if it wasn’t there, they’ll say no, and they also won’t start considering it just by you asking.
Don’t get me wrong. Suicidal ideation is a scary topic to bring up. It’s serious. But it’s better to bring it up and ask so that a person can get the help that they need rather than hold off because you might be nervous or afraid.
There is also a difference between passive suicidal ideation and active suicidal ideation. Passive ideation is still very serious and should be taken seriously, but it means that the person has thought of suicide but hasn’t made a plan to go through with it. Passive suicidal ideation still requires professional help, such as counseling. Active ideation means the person has a plan and is ready to attempt. This is very serious, and the best course of action is for them to get to the ER and get immediate help (calling 911, etc.).
So, what are the warning signs? Here’s a list of what to look out for, whether that be in yourself or in a loved one, friend, or even acquaintance:
Talking about wanting to die/not be alive
Talking about being a burden to others
Making a plan to die, or “researching” ways to die
Taking dangerous risks (like speeding, going to the edge of cliffs, etc.)/acting reckless
Increased usage of drugs or alcohol
Talking about not having a reason to live
Talking about feeling trapped
Extreme mood swings
Giving away special possessions
Isolating self from family/friends
Sleeping a lot more than usual, or a lot less than usual
Calling loved ones and saying goodbye
Drastic, sudden improvement in mood after serious symptoms have been seen recently (for example, someone has been giving away possessions and saying goodbye, and all of a sudden they seem “better)
I recognize that some of these warning signs of vague, so I also want to make it clear that just because someone has started sleeping more, or has increased their alcohol usage, doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re suicidal. What it does mean is something is going on, and it doesn’t hurt to ask how they’re doing, or if they need anything. And, if you’re noticing any concerning signs, it’s 100% okay to ask someone if they’ve thought about suicide or hurting themselves. Like I mentioned earlier, it’s better to ask and to know so that we can get people the help that they need.
Now that we know the warning signs, what can we do to prevent suicide? There are so many things we can do, and if we know what we are seeing in ourselves or others, we can reach out and get people the help that they need, as well as make life changes in our own homes.
One thing to do is lock up any guns/weapons/medication that could be used for a suicide attempt, especially if you know someone in the house (or yourself!) is having suicidal thoughts. If you’re the one having these thoughts, give the mentioned items to someone else to look after for you. Another thing to do is call or text 988 (the suicide hotline). Reaching out to a mental health professional is something important to do, too, and if the risk seems imminent, getting to an emergency room. Also, take what people say seriously. Don’t brush someone’s comment off as a joke. Check in and make sure they’re okay, and help them get the help that they need.
Sometimes, it’s a child or teenager that talks about suicide and wanting to die or kill themselves. It is so important in those moments to let the parents know, and become a team in getting them extra mental health resources. Kids and teens often don’t want the help that they require at this time, but it’s crucial to be there for them anyway. At critical times, such as if they’ve made a plan or have a history of suicide attempts, not leaving them alone until they can get to a hospital or mental facility is key.
If you’re having suicidal thoughts, having some coping strategies in place to get you to your next therapy appointment or to the hospital is important. Having a safety plan is very beneficial, and it is great if you have the option to do this with somebody. If not, though, here is one you can make online with prompts. Doing some grounding exercises, such as 5-4-3-2-1 is also something you can use to calm your nervous system while waiting for the thoughts to pass. Reach out to someone, like a family member, a friend, even an acquaintance. If you don’t feel that’s an option, call 988. If it’s an emergency, call 911 and get the immediate help you need. Sometimes, distracting yourself with a hobby or movie can be a way to get you through to the next day, too. There are lots more coping skills and strategies that can be used, and here's a link that will take you to a list that you can use should you need any additional help.
I recognize that this is a scary topic. It’s hard to bring up in daily life because it’s so rarely discussed, or it’s seen as taboo. I want to let you know that it’s okay to talk about. It’s okay to worry about the risks, and to vocalize any warning signs that you’re seeing. It’s okay to ask for help, and it’s okay to suggest help. By understanding the warning signs, and using some prevention tools, my hope is that we as a society can progress forward and reduce deaths by suicide.
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Here are some wonderful resources that I would suggest reading if you, a loved one, or anyone else you know is having suicidal thoughts. And a reminder: you are not alone. You are cared for. You are worthy. You are allowed to feel your feelings. Now, let’s work together to keep you here and help you through this.
JB
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